Closer To Fine
by PurpleCardi
Summary: After getting expelled from boarding school, Maura meets a girl with a past just as troubled as her own.
1. Intro

**A/N: Here's the intro to something I've had stuck in my head for awhile and I'm wondering if I should continue it. Feedback is greatly appreciated.**

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**January 1992**

The drive from Connecticut to Boston marked a turning point in Maura's life. For the first time in all of her fifteen years, she had managed to get her parents' attention, albeit for the most unfavorable reasons, but she had gotten their attention nonetheless.

"It's just a phase," her father told her from the driver's seat of the overpriced luxury vehicle he had purchased five months ago yet still had a new car smell. There was no eating or drinking allowed in the car for fear of ruining the upholstery or ridding the car of the beloved new car smell. The car was still in immaculate condition and showed no signs of belonging to a family just as their house showed no signs of a family living there.

Everything about her family appeared to be immaculate, but Maura knew the reason behind this was so nobody would ask questions. Smile at family gatherings, bring home a good report card, and never do anything to ruin the Isles name were all that was required of Maura and, until that day, she had managed to abide by all three of those rules.

"It's just a phase," her father repeated and Maura started to wonder if he was saying this to her or if he was trying to reassure himself. Her father—the intellectual, the man who read so many academic journals in his spare time as opposed to interacting with his daughter—was telling her that this was a phase.

Her mother was silent and Maura couldn't tell if her silence was because she was upset or traumatized. Maura wanted her to say something—_anything_—so she'd have something to distract her from her father's incessant remarks about all of this being a phase.

Unable to handle the tension, Maura pulled her Discman from out of her purse along with her CD wallet, but in a matter of seconds her mother turned around to snatch it right out of her hands. "I'm confiscating this" were the first words out of her mouth and Maura was grateful that her mother had finally spoken.

"Music has nothing to do with this," Maura argued, but it'd be considered invalid once her mother found the k.d. lang CD inside her Discman. Maura knew music and other forms of media had no such influence on her, but her mother was looking for somewhere to place the blame.

Maura watched as CD after CD was removed from her collection and placed inside her mother's purse. Indigo Girls, k.d. lang, Melissa Etheridge, Sophie B. Hawkins—all of her favorites were being carelessly shoved into her mother's purse and all Maura could do was take solace in the fact that her mother wasn't tossing them out the window.

Maura liked singer/songwriters as did her suitemates whom were all heterosexual as Maura wanted to point out, but instead she continued to watch as her mother flipped through her collection of CDs. "Mother, you're an educated woman!" Maura finally snapped. "You know there's no correlation between music and homosexuality! Both of you were my age in the '60s! Mother, remember that summer you lived on a hippie commune just to spite your parents? Father, you organized war protests and believed in—"

"The '60s are over, Maura," Mr. Isles interjected. "Nobody believes in anything anymore."

Silence had taken a toll on Mrs. Isles and she could no longer contain herself. "You were _expelled_!"

Expelled. It was the first time either of them had spoken that word since leaving Maura's former school and it was the last word spoken until they reached their house in Boston.


	2. Mariah

**A/N: Thank you so much for your input. I hope you enjoy the next chapter. :)**

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The Isles house was just as immaculate as it was the day she left for school in August. With paintings on the wall and artifacts adorning the tables and countertops, Maura felt as if their house was more of a museum than a family home. Other than the three luxury vehicles in the driveway that Mr. Isles paid more attention to than his daughter, there were no signs that anybody resided at that house.

When Maura was a child, their house had been featured in an interior decorating magazine and, although ten years had passed, Maura still couldn't comprehend why a magazine would want to feature her house. It was as cold and unwelcoming then as it was at that very moment, so she retreated to her bedroom just as she had when she was five years old and the photographers were taking pictures.

Her bedroom was just as she had left it in August. There were posters on the wall of cute animals and teen stars—all reminders of who she was the summer before she left and who she will never be again. Her innocence and trust in others were taken from her and, with nobody left to confide in, Maura began ripping every single poster from her wall until they were no more than strips of paper littering her bedroom floor. She cried while pounding on the walls and either her parents didn't hear her or they were too angry to check in on her. Regardless, Maura was alone when all she really wanted was for someone to tell her that everything was going to be okay—that _she _was going to be okay.

As Maura lied in bed that night, her thoughts were centered on the past forty-eight hours and every life changing event that had occurred within that short time frame. Throughout her academic career, Maura had never gotten so much as an office referral or an afternoon of detention but the course of her entire life had changed because of one bad decision.

Her name was Mariah and she was a senior at the same boarding school Maura attended. The two of them had nothing in common, but Maura didn't mind because their time together rarely involved talking. Judging from the conversations Maura overheard Mariah have with her friends, she got the impression that she was self-centered and elitist, but her beauty made up for it regardless of how shallow that made Maura feel.

Their relationship—or lack thereof—was purely sexual and it began after the two of them faced off on the tennis court during physical education class. Mariah was used to winning, which only made Maura play even harder in hopes of bringing her down a notch. Maura may have beaten her at tennis, but they soon began competing in other aspects of their lives: who had the best grades, the softest hair, the nicest clothes, the list was endless.

As Maura had expected, Mr. and Mrs. Isles left her alone during the two weeks of winter break while they were vacationing. She watched as girl after girl boarded the shuttles that travelled from the campus to the airport or train station and she envied the fortunate girls whose parents drove from hours away just to pick them up because they didn't want their daughter travelling alone. With each passing hour, Maura noticed more girls leave until there were less than twenty girls in the dorms, herself and Mariah included. Due to the lack of students staying during winter break, many of the campus's facilities were closed including the library where Maura spent most of her spare time.

With no assignments to complete, no extracurricular activities, and no shuttle running from the campus to the mall, the girls who remained at school during the holidays were left with nothing but the company of each other to fill their spare time. Girls who didn't speak to each other during the semester had now become friends and senior girls with cars no longer minded bringing younger girls—even freshman—with them when they went shopping.

For two weeks, their school felt like a utopia. All social hierarchies had been forgotten and the girls banded together like a family because their biological families were either too far away or too busy to be with them. They organized a Secret Santa gift exchange in which they'd all leave small, surprise gifts throughout the week and exchange the final and largest gift at a Christmas party the seniors were hosting in their section of the dorms.

It was at the Christmas party that Maura's life changed forever. There was a veggie tray, bags of chips, and snack mixes set out for them, but what caught Maura's eye were the bottles of alcohol on the table. Maura's parents had a wine cellar and they occasionally had wine with dinner, but never before had she seen anyone drink hard liquor out of paper cups. The mixture of gin, vodka, and artificially flavored fruit punch made Maura want to gag, but one of the seniors insisted that it was an acquired taste.

Maura knew that was a lie and the seniors were mixing any type of alcohol they could get their hands on just for the sake of getting drunk. For them, it was a preview of what college life would be like. They'd get into their Ivy League school of choice because of their father's money and then join their mother's sorority where they would mingle with guys not too unlike their fathers and then, after college, perpetuate the cycle of having an immaculate house and children they never paid attention to. Maura wanted no part of it and tried to refrain from drinking a second cup of their mixed drink until Mariah approached her. The already tipsy Mariah was on her third drink and, although they had set aside their competitions for the holiday break, Maura chugged her second drink and then another just so she could catch up to Mariah, the girl that would most likely go back to being her nemesis once the spring semester began.

The hours following Maura's first experience with alcohol were a blur except for the single kiss she shared with Mariah. Were they playing Truth or Dare? Was Mariah playing mind-games with her? The moment Mariah slipped her tongue in her mouth, Maura no longer cared what Mariah's intentions were. It was Maura's first kiss, first make-out session, and first high school party all happening in the same night. The other party guests were all sworn to secrecy and Maura felt as if everything had been a dream until Mariah showed up at her dorm the next morning.

Maura knew she was attracted to girls even before making out with Mariah, but never could she imagine how good it'd feel to finally be with a girl—the taste of her lips, the softness of her skin, her soft moans when Maura touched her exactly where she needed to be touched. She lost her virginity to Mariah that morning in her dorm and, although she wasn't with a girl she loved, what they did felt right and for the rest of their winter break the two of them couldn't get enough of each other.

It occurred to Maura that their competitiveness might have been because of sexual tension, but she dared not bring that up to Mariah for fear of ruining the arrangement they had made. They weren't going to be a couple and they weren't going to hang out or go on dates, but they'd be there whenever the other was in 'need.' The word 'need' was a euphemism Mariah used because she was too embarrassed to talk about having sex with a girl even when she was inside one.

With the end of winter break came the end of their utopia and the return to classes and social hierarchies. They could no longer have privacy in their dorms, so Maura and Mariah found more creative ways to continue their arrangement, but creativity led to carelessness and the carelessness was why Maura was lying in her bed at home with nothing more than her fingertip vibrator and fantasies of Mariah to get her off. The vibrator wasn't Mariah's fingertips and nothing could replace the feeling of having someone next to her. For two short weeks, Maura was happy; maybe for the wrong reasons, but she was happy until her libido had gotten the best of her and she suggested that they have sex in the library because she couldn't wait another moment to have Mariah. It was there that they got caught and there that Mariah turned on her.

When they were both in the principal's office, Mariah began crying hysterically. She claimed Maura had taken advantage of her and she'd never willingly cheat on her boyfriend who was a freshman at Yale. It was all a lie and even the principal could see right through it. Mariah had initiated all physical contact and not once had she mentioned having a boyfriend to any of her friends. The more she remembered the lies Mariah told, the angrier Maura became. Mariah's family was wealthier than Maura's and donated more money to the school annually, so she was let off with a two-day suspension and no notification sent to her parents while Mr. and Mrs. Isles were immediately notified of their daughter being expelled for having sex with another girl in the library.

Maura no longer cared what her parents thought of the situation, but she knew she had mortgaged her future and she was afraid of what would happen next.


	3. What Thirty Thousand Dollars Can Buy

Before she was expelled, Maura didn't know the full scope of what money—particularly, her parents' money—could buy. Being expelled from boarding school was akin to being blacklisted, not just for the student expelled but for his or her parents as well. An expulsion would be visible on Maura's permanent record and, when registering at another school, the reason for her expulsion would be brought into question and her previous school would be contacted.

Lesbian sex at an all girls' boarding school wasn't unheard of and Maura knew of affairs and even a few relationships between students but for the most part everything remained a secret from the staff and administration, people who were in charge of the girls' lifestyle choices as well as their education. Maura knew homosexuality wasn't a choice or, even worse, a 'lifestyle,' but the school had a reputation and they'd go to any lengths to uphold that reputation because parents sent their daughters there not just to receive a quality education; they sent them there to become women not too unlike their mothers and grandmothers.

It was Constance's alma mater and, for the past hundred years, every girl in her family had attended that school. There was never any doubt that Maura would also attend, but her mother and father were still beaming with pride when she moved into her dorm. It was one of only three moments in her life that Maura actually knew her parents were proud of her and, for the first time, she felt like she belonged. But it was over now. Everything she had worked so hard for was over.

Mr. Isles was worried about his daughter being rejected from every private school or boarding school in the area, but Mrs. Isles knew how the system worked. Thirty thousand dollars was the price of their silence and, when they had finally reached an agreed upon sum, Mrs. Isles gladly pulled out her checkbook. That amount of money was what some families lived off of for an entire year, but Mrs. Isles treated it as just another donation. It wasn't more than two weeks into the new year and she already had a sizable tax write-off, one that would also benefit her daughter as well as her own reputation.

For thirty thousand dollars, the school's administration agreed to keep Maura's expulsion off of her permanent record and give her a positive reference when contacted by any school she chooses to attend in the future. If asked why Maura left the school, they'd simply say that there was a family emergency and Maura needed to be at home. The arrangement was solid for the time-being, but Maura and her parents knew it was only a matter of time before one of her former classmates told her parents what had happened who would, in turn, tell their friends and the truth would circulate the country clubs and make its way to all of the reputable schools in the area. Thirty thousand dollars could buy the administration's silence, but no amount of money could stop rumors from spreading and Maura feared what the girls she once trusted would soon be saying about her to their parents and their friends.

The private schools in the area were no longer accepting new students until the start of the school year in August and Mr. and Mrs. Isles didn't want to send Maura away to another boarding school for fear of her repeating what she did at her previous school. "It's just a phase," Mr. Isles repeatedly said although two days had already passed since Maura returned home, but Mrs. Isles knew it was more than a phase and another all-girls boarding school would be the worst place to send her.

"An all-girls boarding school is like a playground for her," Maura overheard her mother say while her parents were in the next room.

It was during that conversation that they decided to the only option for Maura was to attend public school. There was no public school near her neighborhood and, at fifteen, Maura was too young to drive a car so Mr. and Mrs. Isles had no choice but to share the responsibility of driving Maura to and from school. Neither wanted to accept such a responsibility and Maura overheard the arguing that went on between them. She knew her parents would rather send her away. It'd be more convenient for them and they'd have peace of mind knowing that the reason their daughter was away from home was because she was receiving a top-notch education and not because they wanted time to themselves for nine months out of the year.

"Just send me away!" Maura shouted from her bedroom although her parents were too caught up in their own arguing to hear her.

"Maybe she'd be straight if you didn't coddle her so much!" Mr. Isles yelled at his wife.

_Coddled?_ Maura couldn't recall at least one moment in all of her fifteen years in which her mother had coddled her and the mere accusation made Maura laugh hysterically.

"Maybe she'd be straight if she had a male influence in her life. When was the last time you paid attention to her?" Mrs. Isles retorted.

Their argument lasted for hours that night and picked up again the next morning. It was the first time she had heard her parents argue so much and she was proud of herself for being the reason why they were arguing. If she could have this amount of power over her parents after not seeing them in months, she began to wonder what else she'd be capable of and what else she could get away with.

Nobody in Boston—including her parents—knew anything about her and Maura was now determined to start over as a new person without Mariah, without her boarding school past. She'd be Maura, an 'average' teenager who went to the mall and school dances even if it went against her parents' rule of not dating anyone who attended public school.


	4. Little Blue Box

**A/N: I wasn't sure if anyone is still interested in this, but here's a chapter just in case. :)**

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For over a week, Jane had put off opening the little blue box hidden underneath her bed although she checked nearly every other hour to make sure it was still there and that morning was no different. As she held the box in her hand, she realized how different it was from every item she had once hidden under her bed since she was twelve and felt as if she needed privacy. Jane occasionally gave her parents an attitude, but she was well-behaved compared to some of the other girls her age, so Angela promised to trust her and not go through her belongings as long as she kept her room clean and did her own laundry. Jane hadn't always kept her room as tidy as Angela had hoped, but ever since she had purchased the item in the blue box, her room was kept immaculate out of fear of her mother barging in.

Jane had used the money her grandmother had given her for Christmas to purchase the blue box instead of using it toward the video game she had been saving up for and that furthered her anger toward her situation. She missed the days of playing video games with her brothers and doing her homework in the living room in hopes of catching her favorite music videos on MTV and, most importantly, she missed the girl she used to be.

With only one hour left until her ex-boyfriend Casey was due to pick her up for school, Jane grabbed the blue box from its hiding spot and made her way to the bathroom completely unnoticed by her brothers. If they asked what was in the box, she'd have lied and said they were tampons. Just the sound of that word was enough to repel them and, for once, Jane was grateful she had naïve younger brothers instead of a sister who would have known what was in the box or an older brother who would have snatched it from her and found out for himself.

Jane pulled down her underwear and examined them for even the smallest bloodstain but just like every morning for the past three weeks she was disappointed. Her period was late and, at fifteen, she knew this wasn't uncommon for girls her age, but three weeks was the latest she had ever been and the fact that she had lost her virginity to her then boyfriend the previous month heightened her paranoia.

There were several factors that could have affected her menstrual cycle—the thought of pregnancy and her relationship being some of them and Jane wanted to believe that's why she was late. She was stressing herself out and that was taking a toll on her body. She had seen after school specials about teen pregnancy and she was certain that she wasn't one of those girls. Jane wasn't boy crazy; she played sports and video games and wanted, more than anything, to believe that made her different, maybe even immune. _It was an experiment; it wasn't supposed to turn out this way_, Jane thought as she opened the box and pulled out what she referred to as 'the white stick of doom' that was inside.

Until recently, home pregnancy tests were more like a kit and Jane couldn't fathom how daunting that must have been for teenagers who not only tried to figure out how to take the test accurately on their own but also how to take the test without getting caught by their parents. _I just have to pee on a stick and then wait fifteen minutes for the results._

So as not to arouse suspicion, Jane used the fifteen minutes while she was waiting to shower and brush her teeth. Her morning routine served as a distraction and what she had expected to be the longest fifteen minutes of her life passed just as quickly as any other morning before school.

The results were positive as Jane had expected, but she couldn't bring herself to focus on what she should do next. There were only three options for her and they were all unfavorable. She could keep the baby and be a teenage mother. It would be the honorable thing to do—or so she had always overheard the adults in her family and at church say about unwanted pregnancies, but at fifteen Jane was too young to get a job so most of the responsibility would be on her parents. She could give her baby up for adoption, but the thought of carrying a baby inside her womb for nine months and then giving it up would break her heart. She imagined her child's life if he or she didn't get adopted and the thought of him or her feeling unloved and unwanted was enough to make Jane start crying. Her third and final option was to terminate her pregnancy and she could do so without anybody even knowing she was pregnant, but the fear of eternal damnation was too great for her to even give that option a second thought.

It was the fear of hell—of fire and brimstone—that put Jane in her current predicament. She had known Casey since they were children and, as they grew up, he developed a crush on her. At the time, she was a gangly freshman and he was an attractive, popular sophomore so all the girls she knew considered Jane to be the luckiest freshman in their school, save for the Junior Varsity cheerleaders who dated senior boys.

Jane thought he was an attractive guy, but for the entire year they were a couple, their relationship felt more like a friendship. They'd play video games and talk about sports instead of going to school dances and restaurants. Even when Casey got a car for his sixteenth birthday the dynamics of their relationship didn't change. There was no 'parking,' no making out when their parents were gone, although Casey attempted to initiate something when they were alone in his room playing video games. Jane simply told him she wasn't ready and they returned to playing Street Fighter II as if nothing had happened. Her refusal didn't bother Casey, but it bothered Jane and she began to wonder what was wrong with her. She wished it was as simple as wanting to save herself for marriage, but it wasn't. Jane Rizzoli thought about sex just as much as her peers did, except the problem was she didn't think about Casey.

Whenever she had any type of sexual fantasy, the focus would always be on a girl. She'd fantasize about kissing girls and touching girls the way Casey wanted to touch her. The fantasies were never about girls at school because she feared being unable to look them in the eye the next day. Instead she discovered fashion magazines while spending time with her cousin on Thanksgiving. Her nineteen-year-old cousin Stephanie was a fashion and design student in New York who was home for the weekend to spend time with her family and Mrs. Rizzoli thought a young, female influence might be good for Jane so she was forced to hear her cousin talk about fashion instead of watching football with the rest of the family. Stephanie began thumbing through an old issue of _Vogue_ magazine and handed Jane another one in hopes of instilling a love of fashion in her.

Stephanie talked about ready-to-wear fashion and her favorite Versace collections, but Jane wasn't paying attention to a single word she was saying because, in the pages of those magazines, were the most beautiful girls Jane had ever seen. There were scantily clad photos of them and the occasional topless photo that Jane tried her hardest not to drool over. The models were Jane's idea of perfect and, if she heard Stephanie correctly, some were only a few years older than her.

Stephanie was under the impression that she had piqued Jane's interest in fashion, so she decided to give her a box full of the fashion magazines she had collected while she was in high school. The more Jane looked at the models in these magazines, the more she noticed herself becoming aroused at the sight of them whether they were topless or even in form-fitting clothes and it was while looking at one of these magazines that Jane touched herself for the very first time.

Regardless of how good it made her feel, the guilt from masturbation—especially while looking at pictures of girls—became too much for her. She thought about everything she had been told about homosexuality; how sinful it is and how it's a one-way ticket to eternal damnation. The thought of spending an eternity in hell kept Jane awake at night and, when she could sleep, her nightmares were filled with visions of torture and burning just because of her sexual desires.

Unable to handle the guilt, Jane decided she was going to deny her attraction to girls and release her sexual tension with her boyfriend. Jane knew fifteen was young to lose her virginity, but her age was the least of her worries. She was going to have sex with Casey not because she had feelings for him and desired him but because she wanted to convince herself that sex with a guy could make her straight and a guy could pleasure her even better than she could pleasure herself.

Jane had been told premarital sex was a sin, but she figured she'd trade one sin for another because nobody had told her premarital sex was the type of sin she could go to hell for. She could have sex with a guy she didn't love and that was acceptable but, if she ever fell in love with a girl, sex with her meant she'd spend an eternity in hell. It was all so confusing to Jane and she tried as best as she could to rid herself of these thoughts while Casey was inside of her.

There was no foreplay, no oral stimulation; just penetration as Jane had expected. She could have been a hole in the wall and that's exactly how she felt with each of his thrusts. Her mind raced from thoughts of the afterlife to thoughts about the girls she saw in the magazines. She imagined their soft skin, their soft lips, what their hair and perfume might smell like, and every feminine curve of their bodies, but even the thought of them couldn't distract her from the pain and discomfort and overall self-loathing she was feeling.

"I loved feeling you," Casey told her after he was finished, but all Jane could do was make a comment about the Patriots game starting in a few minutes. She saw the hurt in his eyes and it was in that moment that Jane decided she could no longer string him along. He had been a good boyfriend and a good friend to her and it was time for her to come clean in hopes of salvaging their feelings.

The news didn't come as a shock to Casey and, within a week, they were playing video games and watching football just as they had for years. He had a new girlfriend—a JV cheerleader—and Jane was left with the result of an improperly used condom and a life-altering decision to make.


	5. Morning Sickness

**A/N: Thanks for all of your feedback. I promise Jane will meet Maura very soon. :)**

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Jane knew missing one day of school wouldn't set her back, but missing school would mean she'd spend the day at home with her mother and be _questioned_ by her mother. Jane could only imagine the interrogation she'd suffer through. 'Janie, is it the flu?' 'Do you want to go to the doctor?' 'What's bothering you?' It was enough to make Jane crack, so she decided it'd be easier just to go to school even if it meant sitting in the car alone with her ex-boyfriend and father of her future baby.

She envied Casey's ignorance and, for a moment, she considered keeping her pregnancy a secret from him—for a very _brief_ moment. Jane didn't want to tell him because she wanted his input; she wanted to tell him because he was so happy. It was just another school day for him, another day of being an upperclassman and making out with his cheerleader girlfriend during their lunch period. Casey was one of her dearest friends and, although she willingly lost her virginity to him, she now wanted to hurt him for doing what would soon ruin her life and any hope she had to play varsity sports and go to a good college.

Casey tried making small talk about sports and some movie he saw on TV last night, but Jane only partially paid attention.

"And then Stallone's character said to that guy—"

"Casey!" Jane interrupted, her hands covering her eyes as she slumped back into the passenger seat. "Can you _please _stop talking?"

He asked no further questions and turned on the radio instead. An '80s heavy metal ballad began to play—a song she loved in junior high—the soundtrack to her youth and that time she was thirteen and slow-danced with a boy she thought she liked in a stuffy gym at their school dance. Everything was supposed to feel right, but nothing felt right as she slow-danced with that boy just as nothing felt right when she lost her virginity to Casey.

The car moved at the same speed it had seconds ago, but Jane felt as if everything moved by her as the car remained still. The sidewalk she rode her bike on as a child, the trees she used to climb, the fields, the corner store, a family restaurant—all seemed to rush past her. Scenery and objects moved around her until they became a blur and the song switched from that ballad to a current R&B song about a young couple making love for the first time. _They make it seem so beautiful, but it's not beautiful. It's not beautiful._

"Casey, pull over," Jane commanded. "Just pull over!"

Without hesitation, Casey pulled over to the side of the road and Jane felt the vomit rise up her throat until it was all over the curb next to Casey's car, her only consolation being that she had managed to open the door in time.

Casey refrained from touching her until Jane stopped vomiting. If she had snapped at him for talking, he could only imagine what she'd do if he touched her.

"If you have the flu or something, I can take you home," he asked after he was certain she had stopped vomiting.

Jane grabbed a tissue from her backpack and wiped her mouth. "It's not the flu. It's morning sickness."

"Morning sickness?" Casey laughed. "Jane, stop messing around. I can take you home."

"It's morning sickness," Jane reiterated. "Unless I can stay home for the next few months, it won't do any good just to stay home today."

"Morning sickness? Like, what happens to pregnant women?"

"Or pregnant teenagers like me," Jane confessed.

"You're pregnant?" Casey asked in disbelief.

"I'm pregnant."

Jane noticed her usually calm and collected friend become flustered. "Who is the father? It can't be me. We used a condom, Jane. We were careful. You can't get pregnant your first time."

"You also can't get pregnant if you jump backwards three times after," Jane rolled her eyes. "It's a myth, Casey. It's just another myth that kids our age started generations ago because parents refuse to tell us the truth about sex. Maybe if we were told the truth and told _how _to use a condom instead of just 'use one' we wouldn't be in this situation. Maybe if it were socially acceptable for me to be gay, we wouldn't be in this situation either. We'd be talking about that stupid Stallone movie you saw and your vapid cheerleader girlfriend and girls we think are hot just like any other drive to school. We're going to miss homeroom if you don't start driving again."

"It's homeroom," Casey shrugged. "I think you being pregnant is more important than the morning announcements." He knew it was Jane's body and Jane's decision, but he couldn't help voicing his opinion. "I can't be a dad, Jane. I'm sixteen and you're fifteen. What are we going to do? We're not even a couple. Your dad is going to kill me. Him or your uncles. I'll be in pieces on your front lawn."

"You think you have more to lose?" Jane scoffed. "If people at school find out I'm pregnant, the guys will hi-five you for having sex and I'll get labeled a slut. Plus, the morning sickness, all the changes my body will go through, and then after nine months I have to push a _baby _out of my vagina. And this was all for two minutes of bad sex."

"It wasn't that bad," Casey said defensively.

Jane couldn't believe he had the audacity to say that. "I had to pretend you were Cindy Crawford," she blurted out. Jane expected him to be hurt or even angry with her, but instead Casey started laughing for the first time since she had told him she was pregnant. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," he shook his head. "It's just that I had to pretend you were Cindy Crawford, too. You just laid there, Jane, and you wouldn't tell me what was wrong. I had to fantasize about _something_."

"It's nice to know you fantasized about other girls," Jane glared at him.

"So did you!" Casey reminded her. "Look, Jane, it's your body and I can't tell you what to do. If you decide to have an abortion, I'll look into clinics with you and help you pay for the procedure or maybe we can look into adoption if you don't want to have an abortion. If you want to have the baby and keep it, I'll suck it up and be a dad. I can drive you to your appointments and we can tell your parents together. Your father might dislocate my jaw when we tell him, but I'm sure he'll stop threatening me when the baby is born. You and me are friends and we get along and that's more than I could say for most parents out there. No matter what decision you make, we're going to be okay, Jane, and I'm not leaving you."

For the first time in weeks, Jane hugged her ex-boyfriend. "Thanks for not being an ass like I thought you'd be."


End file.
